I Thought I Loved You
by LoveYourLife77
Summary: When Tifa finally snaps because she can't take the Cloud and Aerith thing she leaves. But her heart misses cloud and so does his. But she is scared to go back. And something freaky is goin on. Can Cloud and Tifa find love? You'll find out if you read!
1. Chapter 1

disclaimer: I do not own any of this even though i wish i did!

A/N" Set before Aerith and Zack die kk

If u lyk i might continue

**One Shot will write more if i get reviews!!!!!!**

I Thought I Loved You

By LovingCloudStrife777

* * *

She watched as the black-haired barmaid washed the glasses anxiously. Never had she seen the woman work so hard and...fast. The martial artist never did her job fast, but take time and dedication to those who she served, at the Seventh Heaven bar. The blond haired woman cocked her head as she watched her friend stop in her place. Tifa Lockhart was not known as one to cry, but as one to make people cry. But she dropped her head down to look at the sink, her ruby eyes closed. Tears slid down her ivory skin, and landed on the glass she was cleaning. Aerith slowly walked over to her friend and placed a hand on her shoulder. 

"Tifa what's wrong?" The flower girl asked.

Tifa shook her head a bit and soon lifted it up, "I can't do this anymore Aerith…I…just…can't."

Once more the flower girl cocked her head in question, "What?"

Tifa quickly slammed the glass against the counter. Aerith gasped as blood and glass clashed together. Quickly she grabbed Tifa's hand and examined it. She slowly pulled up Tifa's long-sleeve shirt, which she had picked out for her since it became winter. The blond gasped as she looked at all the clean cuts that had been reopened on her arm. Aerith shook her head, "Why?" was all she said.

Tifa looked away, " I'm not stupid, like others I clean them, I got help. I don't do it anymore."

Aerith shook her head again, "You didn't answer my question, Why?" her voice was full of anger.

Tifa pulled her bloody hand away from the Centra, "What's it to you?" Tifa's voice harsh.

Aerith looked at the girl, a look of hurt on her face.

"You want to know why...why I'm sad. You know what i'm done with the compition of winning Cloud's heart. I'm done with your damn flirtiness; I'm done with you two always putting me down. I know you don't say anything but it's what I see. I've known the man longer and you walk right in a sweep him off his feet. I'm done Dammit; i'm leaving you guys so you can live your happy life. So don't try finding me because you won't." Tifa quickly grabbed her bag and began walking to the front door.

"See you bitches around!" with that the raven haired woman left.

* * *

The sound of Fenrir could be heard as it parked in front of the Seventh Heaven Bar. The blond-haired man on top dismounted and proceeded to the door. Quickly he fumbled with the keys and finally unlocked it. Once inside the dark bar, he cocked his head as he heard crying. Quickly he raced to the kitchen to be it was heard. He glanced at the sobbing flower girl in question. 

"Aerith what's wrong?" Cloud asked bending to her level.

Aerith looked at him, and began sobbing uncontrollably.

"Aerith what's wrong!?" Cloud said a look of fear and concern crossed his face.

"Cl.Clo.Cloud…Ti.Tif.Tifa...she left. She said…she…CLOUD SHE'S GONE!!!" The Centra cried hysterically.

Cloud glanced around and then back at the flower girl.

"I'll find her Aerith you just take care of the kids. Call Zack tell him what happened alright." Cloud said running to the front door.

The Centra nodded and proceeded to cry.

* * *

She loved the sound of the horse's neighing, and she loved the smell of horses. She stood next to her black and white paint stallion named Dark Fantasy. Ironic name since well she was in a dark fantasy. Quickly she tacked her horses up and quickly mounted. She looked back to her city of Edge. This would be her new beginning, her new start, her new life, hers and Dark Fantasy's. 

She gave Dark Fantasy a light kick, and soon they were off. Tifa Lockhart place both arms out to her side letting her trusty steed go were they were to go. She loved the air blow through her face as they galloped to God knows where.

All she knew was her heart ached since she left...him. No matter what she loved him, and she hated that. Cloud Strife had stolen her heart and was supposed to protect it, not break it. But that was what always happened; the girl he knew forever who loved him was left in the dumps. Aerith was his princess, and she was his knight in shinning armor.

"Fantasy, take me somewhere we can live a good life. Just you and me." Tifa said.

As if in response he rose his head up high and raced off faster than ever. Tifa enjoyed this more than anything. Tifa sighed, gathered the reins in hand, and looked forward to the place up ahead. She felt his speed quicken and soon she felt as though she were flying. If only Cloud was with her...wait there was no need to think off him.

"All I know is he's finally happy!" Tifa said, finally smiling for the first time.

* * *

Fenrir roared to life as Cloud started him. 

"Time to go Fenrir!" Cloud said, racing off.

Dust filled the outskirts of Midgar, finally instead of sand everywhere it was grass. Midgar looked beautiful with the grass landscaping around it. But Cloud wasn't worried about that, he was worried about finding her. He approached the stable at high speed. Finally when he parked he rushed into the barn. She had to be here with Dark Fantasy he knew it. Clouds stopped for a second as he looked at the stall were the horse stayed. Then a memory filled Cloud's mind.

* * *

It was her birthday, May 3, and he wanted to surprise her with the present she always wanted. To see her smile would make him feel great inside. He had told her to meet him there; little did she know what he had in store. He watched as she looked around and finally spotted him. She looked absolutely breath-taking. She wore a baby blue halter dress and matching high-heels; within her raven hair was a blue ribbon. Cloud felt his heart race as he looked at the girl.

"So Cloud, I thought you hate horses, why are we here?" Tifa asked looking at all the horses.

Cloud blushed, "Well actually I have a present for you." Cloud said grabbing her hand.

Tifa blinked a few times as he pulled her to a stall. Tifa looked in it but saw nothing. Tifa glanced at Cloud questionly. The next thing you know she saw Zack walk down the hall, a 16 hands black and white paint slowly followed behind. Tifa glanced at Cloud and he nodded. Tifa quickly ran over to the horse and brushed a hand over his body.

"Cloud who's horse is this? He's so beautiful!" Tifa exclaimed as she looked at stallion.

Cloud smiled at her, "Tifa he's yours." Cloud said, looking at his childhood friend.

Tifa gasped and threw her arms around him in a tight embrace. Zack watched as Cloud blushed and gave him a thumbs up.

"Cloud you're the best. You got me the best gift ever!" Tifa said giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

"Well what are you waiting for Lockhart, take this boy up and give him a go!" Zack chuckled.

Tifa nodded and took the horse from her, the biggest smile plastered on her face.

Cloud felt his heart race faster as he looked at his beautiful childhood friend. She had just told him he was the best. To top it all off he got her the best gift ever. Well what should he say; the best girl in the world deserves the best gift too.

End of Flashback!!!

* * *

Dark Fantasy's stall was completely empty, that was when he noticed the note on the stall door.

Cloud,

I know you came by here to see if I and Dark Fantasy were here, but as you can tell we're not. I'm sorry to have left everyone and I know I said some hurtful things to Aerith. Tell her I'm sorry. I know your worried about me, Cloud, or for all I know your happy I'm gone. Well it wouldn't surprise me. I guess you want to know why I left. All me and Aerith did was fight for your heart. I could always tell she had it, she held your heart safe. While I gave you mine, you broke it, crushed it, and ran over it. But that never stopped me from loving you Cloud. I couldn't take how you favored Aerith, and never felt of my feelings. But dammit Cloud, I told you to pay attention to those you love. I guess I'm not one of them, I guess I'm just the girl who lived next door to you. But Cloud why? That's what I want to know is why, why did you never love me. Now I sit here crying..Cloud crying...I'm crying over you. Cloud you don't know how much I wanted you. To hold me, to touch me, to kiss me, for me to be your hoe, your love, your well everything. I really wish you paid more attention to me Cloud. I really wish you and me could be together, to hold each other, to love each other, to sleep in the same bed. But since I know you'll never find me, I guess I had to tell you everything. Cloud I love you even though you'll never love me. Cloud I, even though I've said it before and I'll say it again I do want you too know I do love you, but if you try looking for me you won't find me. In fact none of you will not Yuffie, not Vincent, not even Shinra I'm sorry. Perhaps we will meet again, perhaps we won't. Good-bye Cloud I love you!

Love Tifa

Cloud sat there against the stall door tears strolling down his cheeks. He screwed up. He did love her, more than anything. Never would he love Aerith, only Tifa. But the ex-SOLDIER could only cry. She was gone, gone from his grasp. Slowly he finally lifted his head up, his face stained with tears. His once full of life mako blue eyes, now where the color of night. To him he thought he lost her, to him he screwed up, to him he let another loved one down. This one his prized possession, this one his childhood friend, this one his love. Not with his mother not with his father, not with Zack, not even Arieth, had he felt so horrible, so empty, so...alone. That was when he realized it, he had to find her.

Cloud got up and bolted out of the stables, towards Fenrir. Quickly he mounted, and Fenrir roared to life.

"I will find you Tifa, because I love you!" Cloud said as he looked forward.

Then Fenrir sped off with full speed.


	2. Chapter 2 Pictures

Disclaimer: I do not own any FFVII characters

I Thought You Loved Me

By LovingCloudStrife777

Chapter 2 Pictures

* * *

Tifa Lockhart, the martial artist, the strong female ever. The most brave, well that was an understatement. She was a coward, never had she thought such things. But since she left, she had felt terrible. Especially since how she was toward Aerith. But all she felt was pure hatred and rage toward her. She was the one who knew Cloud, she was the one who took care of him, she was the one who loved him with all of her heart. But no he had to love Aerith, not her. Not the one who paid so much attention to him, who let him live under her roof. But she was forced to leave her house, she was forced to leave her family and friends behind. For what, nothing but her horse. That was all she had. 

Tears fell from her eyes, she sat in her bed. In the house she resided in, at Kalm. In the backyard was the small white barn that held Dark Fantasy. She had found the small house for sale and cheap to her surprise, with five acres of land. But then again luck might start to be on her side. She had changed her name so know one would know who she was. Her brown hair was no longer brown but a blond color. She had changed that to, she had changed everything. Her life was no longer the life of Tifa Lockhart, but the life of Nicole Parker. She didn't even like her new name, but she had to change.

Her tears fell onto the photograph book, full of all the pictures of her and her friends. Her family. But all of it was gone, Nicole Parker had no family, no friends. Only her horse, her only friend, her only family. Damn she hated that name, for now she would have to use it. But her eyes down casted onto her favorite picture.

She was with_ him._ It was back when Cloud left to join SOLDIER. Tifa had left to visit him once. It was her, Cloud and Zack. They were in front of the SOLDIER training facility. Zack posed, showing off his buster sword with a seductive grin and a wink. Cloud on the other hand stood one arm around Tifa's waist, bringing her to him. In his other hand was his buster sword. He was looking down at Tifa smiling, his blue eyes twinkling. Tifa had rested her head on his chest, and smiled at the camera. She winked at the camera, with her hand making a peace sign to the camera.

Tifa had loved the picture, out of all her pictures with him. The one picture he actual showed emotion toward her. Before he met Aerith. But now she sat on her bed, tears streaming down her face. She loved him so much, but she knew he would never show her it back. She knew it oh so well. He was much in love with Aerith, the better reason for her to have left.

She began to sob, heart wrenched sobs. Her ivory skin was now red and puffy. Her wine colored eyes where covered in tears and sorrow. All she could think about was him, everything she thought of had him in it.

"I hate him!" she cried anger evident in her voice.

Her eyes covered themselves in pure anger and hatred. It was as if her eyes turned from red to a dark black.

"I hate her too! I hate them both! I'll make sure both of them pay!" she said hatred in her voice.

Then out of no where it was as if her horse had heard her, he nickered very loud.

Tifa gasped and her eyes turned back to red once more.

* * *

Cloud Strife, 23 year old ex-SOLDIER, a sword wielding ex-SOLDIER. Felt as if he wasn't strong, he couldn't save his hometown, he couldn't protect his mother, and lost the woman he loved most. How he wished that he had told Tifa that he was in love with her. But being the coward deep inside, he didn't. He could battle Sephiroth, take a while in SOLDIER, get mako put into his body, but the damn man couldn't tell a girl he loved her. It was as if he was a cloudy headed person. Heh Cloudy and his name was Cloud. This made him smirk, dammit thats off subject. The point was he had to find her, but he spent a week searching for her, none stop. He could tell she did not want to be found. Damn if only he told her. 

"Cloud?" a familiar voice said.

Cloud looked up from his spot on his bed to see Aerith. Her face was wet with tears, and her green eyes were glassy with tears. Cloud sat up and motioned her over.

"Whats wrong Aerith?" he asked, as she sat next to him.

A long silence passed, neither the mencenary nor the flower girl speak. Each averting gazes, not once looking at one another.

"It's what Tifa said to me, before she left. I can't get it out of my head. She was so angry. I had never seen her eyes so dark." Aerith said, sniffing.

Cloud looked at her, Tifa had said something to Aerith? He didn't know that. In fact what did happen? He never asked her.

"Aerith what exactly happened, that day?" Cloud asked, his eyes full of concern.

That silence fell over again, and tears began to slid down her cheeks, as she recalled the memory.

"She was crying, I had never seen her so sad." She began, again she averted his eyes.

"I asked her why but she never responded. I asked again and she told me she couldn't take it anymore. I didn't understand and said what. She got so mad and her eyes turned different colors." she turned to face Cloud.

"And I mean different colors Cloud. They were so black, so cold. But anyway she threw the glass on the counter and cut herself. Cloud I lifted her sleeve up, she was cutting herself." Aerith said.

Cloud looked at her in disbelief and shock. Was it because of him, was it because he never paid attention to her. Well lets think here for a second. He had a band, well a small one. Just him, Barrett, Cid, and Zack. Vincent wasn't into that stuff. Occasionaly they would play at the Seventh Heaven bar. But things had been tough lately. Second he was on deliveries. Third he was always with Zack and...Aerith. Damn it had to have been him.

"She wouldn't tell me why. She began to yell, saying she was done trying to win your heart. That she was leaving this place, and we would never find her. She called us all bitches though." Aerith finished.

Cloud raised an eyebrow, something about Aerith's attitude towards this, didn't feel right. It seemed as if she were...happy. What the hell? She was putting on an act, he looked at her face. When you cry shouldn't your eyes been red and puffy? Well her's weren't. He watched as Aerith stood and left the room. Something was strange about this.

Cloud than glanced over to his nightstand to where the picture of him, Zack, and Tifa. He knew she had the same one. It was both favorites, he loved it, and she cherished it. He slowly reached over and grabbed it. Staring into her red hued Iris. Tears began to prick his mako enhanced eyes, and soon tears were streaming down his face onto the piece of paper.

"I miss you Teef. I wish I had told you I love you." Cloud said, clutching the picture to his heart.

* * *

"Alright are you sure Miss Parker, your ready?" the stage manager asked. 

The blond nodded, Tifa..erm..Nicole was ready. Three months since she left, and now she was a famous singer. Well a new singer that was still trying to get the crowds. She was the first apparence for the Bullet For My Valentine's concert. And she was ready. She walked out onto the platform.

"Are you ready to rock Kalm!" she yelled into the microphone.

Everyone cheered, clapped, and screamed.

"Alright, One, Two, Three, Four!" the drum player said.

_'Boy meets girl! You were my dream my world.'_

She lowered her head as she began the song, as if she were sad.

_'But I was Blind, you cheated on me from behind.'_

She danced gracefully across the stage, everyone cheering as she sang the song.

_'I need a miracle, I want to be your girl. Give me a chance to see that you were made for me.'_

She continued to sing the song, as if she had known it by heart. But then again it was kinda like what happened to her heart. Finally when she finished the song a loud roar erupted from the crowd. Cheers and yells filled her ears as she left the stage and to her limousine.

She sighed as she made it back home. She loved her new job, and Cloud would never know it was her. And that was perfect, but her heart was still wanting, longing, wishing for him back. But she couldn't let that happen, she couldn't put her heart on the line again. She sat in the box stall, her black and white pinto nudging her shoulder. She knew Fantasy was trying to make her smile, and it was working. But yet she still missed Cloud. Slowly she pulled out the picture that was her favorite, she staired at Cloud's face. Tears began to slid down her face, on onto the piece of paper.

"I miss you Cloud! I wish I had the courage to have told you that I loved you!" she said, clutching the picture to her heart.

And at that moment it seemed as if both felt one anothers presence. As they both held the picture of the one they loved to their hearts.

* * *

"Our plan seems to be working. The girl will spread the disease to everyone. And soon we will rule the world. And then we can kill that Spiky-headed bastard!" a silver-haired man said.

"Yes we will. But be patient, lets just sit back and watch." a man with black hair said.

Both chuckled and glanced at the screen with a certain used to be brunette. To them her life was meaning less, to them her love was a laugh among a crowd, to them she was thiers.

TBC the review button is screaming 'HIT ME!'


	3. Chapter 3 dirty little secrets

This chapter will be done in Tifa's POV Slight ZackTifa But there will be CloTi

Chapter 3: Dirty Little Secrets

It had been two years since I saw Cloud's face or his blond spikes. I'll have to admit my life is pretty good, but I hate my job. Being a famous singer was hard and I had never thought it was. But it helped me hide from Cloud. I do miss him more than anything. Not to mention I feel bad, I know I had gone through this before. But I'm really sorry for what I said to Aerith. I never thought I would, but I do. I wish I could go tell her how sorry I am, and I wish I could tell him, that I loved more than words could say. But that was never gonna happen, I knew that for sure.

Should I really have left? Should I have just tried to talk to them? Or should Sephiroth just done his job and killed me in the mako reactor? I ask myself these questions ever day. Why? I don't know, maybe because I'm guilty. Guilty for hurting people.

"Miss Parker are you ready to go on?" my manager asked.

I nodded, I was a special guest with my friends Bullet For My Valentine. Mark and I were great friends, like brother and sister. I walked up on stage and smiled. We were in Junon for the concert, I was on tour with them. This was our second to last concert, the last one in Edge. I didn't look forward to that concert.

"Are you ready to rock?" I yelled along with Matt.

They screamed, whistled, and cheered. I loved the sound of that. The lights darkened, blue and purple lights shown on us. I quickly grabbed the mic, and pulled my jacket off.

I wore a black tank top that only really covered my chest. A short black leather mini skirt like I always wear. Knee high black boots. My hair was straightened, and fell to my mid back,with blond streaks in there. Everything we wore was black. Yes, I know thats a bit emo, but its heavy metal.

I had changed a lot since I left. No longer was I so sweet and Innocent, but cold and hard. My life was revolved around Dark Fantasy, singing and liquor. Yes the once bartender was now an alcoholic. But worst about myself was my heart. My bitter-sweet heart was shield away from every one. I never want my heart to hurt like it did for Cloud.

I looked out to crowd. I cocked my head, at someone in the audience. One man standing out from everyone else. So familiar yet I can't quit place were I've seen him. But I shook it off and began to sing.

* * *

I wiped the sweat of my forehead as I entered my hotel. I immediately went straight to the bar. I sat at a booth and ordered some vodka, i hate that stuff. But man does it make your mind fuzzy. Anyway as I was drinking the waiter came over and spoke. 

"Miss Lockhart, the man at the bar asks for your presence." he said.

Wait. Stop. Lets back track here. Did he just call me Miss Lockhart? Then that man knows who I am. Shit!!! I got up and joined him. When he turned to face me, I gasped.

Black. Violet. Spiky. Mako. Lets try to put this together. Black spiky hair, Violet mako hued eyes. Well hello Mr. Zack Fair. How did you find me? and why the hell am I asking myself? I looked into those violet eyes. Full of concern, happiness, and some sort of sparkle i couldn't tell what it was.

"Hello Tifa." he said snapping me out of my trace.

I sighed, I guess one day my past would haunt me.

"Hello Zack, how did you find me?" I asked him, taking a huge gulp of my vodka.

He smiled his cocky smile, and motioned the waiter for a round of shots. Well I hope those shots help to get me buzzed. I looked at the small shot glasses that sat in front of me and Zack. And quickly I took one and chugged it.

"How have ya been?" he asked me.

I looked at him, my eyes downcast. " I'm fine, how have you and Cloud been?" I asked, not wanting to look in his eyes.

I listened as he sat his glass down and turned to face me.

"He misses you Tifa. We all do, I know I miss ya." he said.

I felt his hand lift my chin up to look at him. Zack was so nice to me, always. I'd have to admit that was the one reason why Zack Fair was one of my most liked friends. I will say he does have beautiful eyes.

"How did you find me?" I whispered.

By this time I was close to tears. I felt so alone for the past two years. And now that Zack was here, i didn't feel so alone. Maybe, just maybe this was fate, for him to find me. I looked into his mako Violet eyes and smiled. And for once I smiled my Tifa Lockhart smile. Not my fake Nicole Parker one but my real true smile.

"Well forget it Zack lets catch up." I said raising my glass to him.

He chuckled and nodded and we began our conversation. Aerith and Cloud were spending, quite a lot of time together. But that was to be expected from the two. Marlene and Denzel were missing me a lot. Not taking a liking to their new mother figure. My bar, had been closed for a while. But Cid and Barrett opened it up and Yuffie and Cid took over while Barrett worked in the oil fields. Cid and Shera were about to welcome a child into the world. And Vincent and Yuffie had hooked up. I had missed a lot.

But we continued to chat, laugh, and drink..a lot. Which was making my mind very fuzzy. We made our way up to the elevator and to my hotel room. Explore each others mouth as doing so. I quickly opened the door and quickly shut it. Both of us making our way to my bed, still explore the others mouth. That was when my mind went blank, and black.

* * *

My eyes slowly opened, only to slowly close again as my room bathed in sunlight. My head was pounding, as if someone was drilling a screw in my head. What happened last night? All I could remember was I met up with Zack and we were drinking and catching up. The rest was blank, pure nothing. 

I slowly pulled off the covers only to show my body bare, no clothes. When did I decide to go commando? Besides were was my clothes? I looked over to the couch. My bra and shirt lie next to a pair of black boxers. WHAT? Whose boxers are on my couch? That was when I felt the bed shift. I slowly looked to my left and gasped. Quickly I pulled the covers over me, as a pair of violet eyes opened.

OH MY GAWD!!! I slept with Zack Fair. How the hell did this happen? I felt fear wash over me, as i stared into those eyes. I exhaled a shaky breath as he sat up.

I will have to admit, Zack Fair was a very striking man. He was very built, but thats really supposed to be expected from an first class soldier.

We stared into each others eyes, something about his were really..i can't place it really. But maybe something could come out of this. Me and Zack, could anything ever work between us. A wave of guilt washed over me. Cloud. But why? The man hurt me, and was now happy. Why can't I?

"Zack.." I paused.

He looked away from me, "Do not say it Tifa."

My God, I had not heard that name in a long time. And you know what it made me feel good. I missed it. Everyone in Bullet For My Valentine, knew my story. But they continued to call me Nicole.

"I'm sorry, I really am." I said, even though he didn't want to hear it.

He looked at me and smirked, "I'm not."

My eyes widened as I felt his soft red lips press against mine. Well now I know something can come out of this. I kissed back, that was when my eyes opened and I pulled back. I glanced at the clock, 10:45 am. Shit, I quickly jumped up and grabbed my laid out clothes for the day.

Zack stared at me, as in disbelief and with rejection in his eyes. I smiled at him.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I'm late for a photo shoot, with the band. are you in?" I asked him, as I hooked my bra on.

He smiled and nodded. I watched as he jumped up and got dressed. I quickly hooked my moon earrings on, and turned to Zack.

"So I take it we're together." I asked him, smiling.

He cocked an eyebrow, "Are you in for it?" he asked.

I nodded, and he grabbed me and kissed me. I smiled as we did. Finally my new beginning


	4. Chapter 4 NOTE! PLEASE READ

**Hello fellow reviewers and fanfic friends. If you have read this story and been upset that it has been updated well guess what!**

**I AM BACK TO FINISH MY STORIES!**

**So stay tuned this week for some new chapters with any of my stories!**

**OH YEAH!**

**Just thought I would let everyone know. **

**When I upload a new chap i will delete this note!**

**SO PLEASE DONT GIVE UP ON ME NOW**

**LETS GO!**


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